Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Sexual Addiction (part 1) - intro post

This is going to be explicit and rated SX-18 by people who are not open minded...But it is not with the intention of making this a porny horny post. It's just a sharing on one of the small "research" I've been doing for some years, from the perspective and lens of astrology, energy and spirituality based on consultations I've accumulated in some years . And it's all going to be about sex. I might spread it to a few part if I can't finish and I'll try to minimize on astrology jargon and attempt this writing on a laymen terms.

Sexual addiction:
From wikipedia: "Sexual addiction (sometimes called sex addiction) is a popular model to explain hypersexuality—sexual urges, behaviors, or thoughts that appear extreme in frequency or feel out of one's control. Hypersexuality is typically associated with lowered sexual inhibitions. Alcohol and some drugs can affect a person's social and sexual inhibitions.

There are differences of opinion among sexologists, sociologists, psychologists and other specialists as to whether the phenomenon represents an actual addiction or even a psychological/psychiatric condition at all. Proponents of the sexual addiction model draw an analogy between hypersexuality and substance addiction or behavioral problems like gambling addiction, recommending 12-step and other addiction-based methods of treatment. Other explanatory models of hypersexuality include sexual compulsivity and sexual impulsivity.

Sexologists have not reached any consensus regarding whether sexual addiction exists or, if it does, how to describe the phenomenon. Some experts believe that sexual addiction is literally an addiction, directly analogous to alcohol and drug addictions. Other experts believe that sexual addiction is actually a form of obsessive compulsive disorder and refer to it as sexual compulsivity. Still other experts believe that sex addiction is itself a myth, a by-product of cultural and other influences. Some who have expressed doubts about the existence of sex addiction argue that the condition is instead a way of projecting social stigma onto patients."

We have heard of many type of addictions, but sexual addiction? It's kinda rare don't you think? This is because it is a taboo topic and rarely discussed. It is a stigma and professional help in the form of counseling is quite limited because the sufferer will be shy at most  to confide for professional help. The sufferer also do not deem it as a dis-ease or an inconvenience until it really inconvenience every aspect of life. Example, insatiable desire to engage in sexual encounters or relationships even thou you have or do not have one. Or, when you suddenly feel like stopping your ways , you become emotionless and sexless.

Frequent syndrome of sexual addiction: (from other source)
  • Frequently engaging in more sex and with more partners than intended.
  • Being preoccupied with or persistently craving sex; wanting to cut down and unsuccessfully attempting to limit sexual activity.
  • Thinking of sex to the detriment of other activities or continually engaging in excessive sexual practices despite a desire to stop.
  • Spending considerable time in activities related to sex, such as cruising for partners or spending hours online visiting pornographic Web sites.
  • Neglecting obligations such as work, school or family in pursuit of sex.
  • Continually engaging in the sexual behavior despite negative consequences, such as broken relationships or potential health risks.
  • Escalating scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve the desired effect, such as more frequent visits to prostitutes or more sex partners.
  • Feeling irritable when unable to engage in the desired behavior.
You may have a sex addiction problem if you identify with three or more of the above criteria. More generally, sex addicts tend to organize their world around sex in the same way that cocaine addicts organize theirs around cocaine. Their goal in interacting with people and in social situations is obtaining sexual pleasure.

The severity of your addiction depends on the type, amount and frequency of the sexual behavior, and its harmful effects. Symptoms that a therapist will evaluate to determine severity include:
  • Increasing guilt, remorse and suicidal thoughts
  • Irritability when unable to engage in the desired behavior
  • Pronounced mood swings or violence
  • Heated arguments with loved ones about sexual behavior
  • Severe financial problems
  • Job loss
  • Increased substance abuse or dependency
  • Tolerance (escalating frequency of sexual behavior; engaging in more sex than intended — need for more sexual activity to achieve the desired effect)
  • Preoccupation with or persistent craving for sex
  • Unsuccessful attempts to limit sexual activity
  • Continued involvement in excessive sexual practices despite desire to stop
  • Time devoted to sex-related activities
  • Engagement in sex to the detriment of valued activities and obligations such as work, school and family
  • Continuation of the sexual behavior despite negative consequences 
Next post: Sexual Addiction Part 2 - the game and name


  1. You should read my blog, my story, in connection with your "research."


  2. Thanks for sharing! Will read it up. :)

  3. Hi Oscar... I guess your research was going into depth and I must say it all fits together as if you would have scanned the person I am involved with.. unfortunately his obsession has increased but he has problems with his penis and needs to be stimulated with what I call very abusive and violent pornography and because of this we live in a platonic relationship because I am not resonating to any of his desires.... do you have any recommendation to help him get passed his addiction.. he said many times he was going to seek help but he never did.. and lives in deceit and denial and I guess I am not strong enough to support him for his lies and pretense is getting to me and I do not know anymore what to do.. Thanks for your time reading this and I am looking forward to hear from you..

  4. Dear Danii,
    Thank you for dropping by and leaving this comment for me. First and foremost, please be advised that I am not any physician or medical practitioner to give you a proper guidance and I am also from Malaysia, which the country culture and medical law may be vastly different with your country. My comment are then simply just as suggestion and it might be quite general as I do not have much details of you and your partner relationship.
    On the spiritual side, First scenario , what your partner may be going through or experiencing may be something that had been going on since young, or something that had leave an impact to him when young and continues to the open now as an adult. 2nd scenario will be this is something from the adult life where stress and impact of life had been a constant companion to him and these situation had led him to this kind of addiction to release stress and also other psychological condition that he wished to get out of from his system. 3rd scenario is throughout these activities, he had been overpowered or have synergized with spirits and other lost souls who enjoyed similar activities and is using him to satisfy these need. What you may want to know is this addiction is similar to other addiction in terms of patterns, example smoking, drinking and gambling. If you are to walk away or let go from this relationship, it is completely understandable and fine because you have your own life to take care of as well. However, if you choose to standby to him, give yourself a time limit, get professional counselling and work together with him, before you call it quits. I am suggesting this first and foremost to you because many times, it is the one who help that requires more mental and emotional investment and also support, and it can be struggling for you and you should love yourself first more than him so that you can be stronger to help him. On another note, beside professional help, do consider going for some spiritual healing. The spiritual healing should be able to (interview your healer if there are healers available in your area)
    1) help him with inner child healing (can be done on own meditation, with essential oil as well)
    2) remove entities from his body and other energies that do not belong to him (can use essential oil to help)
    3) repair his aura and chakra points to the normal state
    4) help him to keep centered and focus on removing his addiction
    5) regain back his power and soul fragmentations back to himself

    The above can be performed or done on own self if there's no healers that do hands on healing for you. If the healer is good, you can see some result within the first treatment. Most will be a minimum of 3 treatments, and then you will see improvements. This is base on the assumption that the healer is of light modules and are professional in their respective field. You can consider using essential oils to help in this journey as essential oils are of very high frequencies than human body and it can be use to heal on the spiritual side as well as addressing these issues. You can consider marjoram, lavender and stress away oil blend to control excessive sexual urges. These are just recommendation. If you need further information on the oil, do email me at o_scarlai@yahoo.com or can also reply here. Other than that, a complete lifestyle and environment is needed if you are in a committed relationship with him. You can start from changing some food habit, as food is the most intimate to mankind and by loving your food, it is equivalent to loving your own body and the rest will follow. Example, choose more real food instead of can or microwave food which have no frequencies. Explore on food that can be your medicine as well, superfood that help to heal your internal body etc. This is because when the inner body is healing and you are choosing to want to heal, even from the small aspect of food changing to healthier food, it is also sending a signal back to the brain and subconscious that you are choosing a healthier lifestyle and thus to heal the addictions.

  5. All addictions take time to heal, love and constant care to be conscious as it is a form or act to take charge of your life again and take back the power that you have given away. It will need support and much patience. All illness are not mistake of the body. It is a way of telling you that it is in need of healing and is healing. Best wishes