Sexual Addiction - What's in the mind so you know how to heal it - Part 2

While attempting to write this post the whole day, my mind was filled with sex. Oh gee...not like it's what you are thinking. Anyway, the info here might not be in it's totality and, based on what is channeled best and written is another story.

Sex addiction, is an addiction of pure lust and physical and these individuals often have huge commitment problems, and fear of becoming close to someone. A real sex addict, does not really enjoy sex, and instead it causes a chain reaction of shame, guilt, fear, depression and suicidal thoughts.

Most times, when a sex addict is married, they will not get off by having normal sex with their spouse, let alone, a sex addict is incapable of feeling true love, and therefore usually in most cases, relationships do not work out. A sex addict can however, learn how to become a decent person, and learn how to feel if they are thorough and honest with their recovery. Support from their loved ones will be of utmost importance and tolerance for a successful recovery as well.

There are many types of sexual addiction and different classifications, such as porn addiction and in most cases, there are added paraphernalia, which are abnormal and most time dangerous fetishes in which one cannot get off by anything else. It can also be accompanied by abuse of drug or substances and alcohol abuse.

There are also sex addiction that stems from trauma, such as sexual abuse in one's past. Some people develop sex addiction from learned behaviors of abuse, or even very traumatic incidences in childhood. This type can also become very dangerous, given the fact that there are many sex addicts who resort to get off by violence and hurting people, and are trapped in that habit, and equally, they may disassociate and constantly hurt themselves.

On another side, it is also entwined with personality disorders and chemical brain imbalances, where this mental disease is rare, but can begins at birth or early childhood. Causes are unknown, thus it is classified as a mental disease, and chemical brain imbalance. It can also result from other mental illnesses. Please note that addictions do not choose what or who you are, you can be a professional in some high flying job, or you can be plain Jane. Everyone is human and every human have an addiction of some sort.

There are many differing opinions on the religious side of sexual addiction, or in fact any other addictions as it is categorized as the same. However, I am really wondering about on the spirituality and energy side. This is because sex itself should be a pleasure between couples in relationships and individuals, and it is an art in Kamasutra and Tantric sex,and it is also tied with creativity and awakening of the Kundalini in energy modules.

On the spiritual side, all sex addicts have a powerful physical and spiritual healing ability to some extent. They are so captivated with the sexual and physical aspect that they then become intent on abusing such power. If learned properly, a sex addict can be a very powerful healer.

Most sex addicts are highly insecure or not confident. However, they appear highly charismatic, sociable, and have the ability to entice and seduce many people with their strong auras. Their partners will also become addicted to them. On another side, some are also extremely egoistic, self seeking, and like to be in the spot light. They tend to enjoy bragging about their problems.

Sex addiction has many symptoms, such as frequent injuries due to sexual behaviours, depression, anxiety and many other mental illnesses entwined with it, the famous feeling of guilt and shame, suicidal thoughts, black outs, anger problems and other emotional problems. When deprived of sex, a sex addict will act out dangerously.

On another side of this where I opined, I would also say that human, once have abundance of something, will not take it as a surprise anymore as they get "their devil side fed", and thus as a form of release, able to accept themselves and steer back to normality in real. Release it as it comes, feed the devil side and let it subside, and then re-enforce light when the mind is centered again and increase the light side against the dark side. Healing might be easier in this way. But the addict should also be able to help in ways of abstinence or taking back the control and power over their own dark side. Just like a simple example, if everyone can afford a luxury here, say Iphone, then Iphone is not something of a luxury anymore where you will have to sell a kidney for an Iphone (a girl in China doing so). It has become normal and when the desire of acquiring it is not strong, it can be under control. It is hard to satisfy a million desires, so why not try harder to control one desire that leads to the million desires. The effort put into controlling that one desire and able to come out of it is worth it.

So if we are to understand what sort of game or sex act or fetish that sex addicts are looking for and if it is a cry for something higher beneath their soul yearning, what could it be? Why do they do what they do in an addictive continuous manner? Imagine if we are a sex addict, and we are to walk into a big clubhouse with the only intention of getting sex, no inhibitions, no one judging or disrespecting you at all . And in these rooms, all kind of games are in play, which room would you knock on?

Room 1
Slave/Submissive sex - where you listen to your Master and do what they ask you to do. (Individual could be a powerful person in real life who have been giving orders to other people, and thus would choose this room for a change)
(astrology config- 6th or 12th house with saturn, rahu, ketu, mars, moon, pluto interplay) 

Room 2
Bondage/S&M - where you got tied up, whips and chains are your best friend and pain is pleasure (Individual could be yearning for a higher power that can release him/her from one controlling power for freedom, or instead of taking control all the time, someone to take control of him/her in real)
(astrology config-7th house with mars, ketu, saturn, venus, neptune interplay)

Room 3
Groupies/Orgy - group participants or several people playing together (Individual could be yearning for connections, reaching out, or is learning about sharing and no shame issue or is someone who have no trust issue, loves loosely, free spirit)
(astrology config - 7th or 8th house with mars, venus, jupiter, me, rahu, pluto interplay)

Room 4
Porn Stars/Videos/Internet - continuously engaging in watching videos, schedules revolved around picking ppl from the internet, chatting, watching video (Individual could be very lonely, not able to socialize, and yearning for companions or relationships without strings attached)
(astrology config-2nd or 3rd house with me,mars,ve, rahu interplay)

Room 5
Erotic massages/touch/senses - the need to be constantly touched by people (Individual could be yearning for higher source that can stimulate their senses, gives them inspirations, the need to feel true love instead of artificial love and yearning for real feeling instead of illusions)
(astrology config-1st, 7th, 8th house with ve, sun, saturn, rahu, moon interplay)

Room 6
Exhibitionist/Showing/Audience - the need to expose an intimate personal part of oneself to others (Individual could be yearning for attention and the need for others to appreciate them, take notice of them or need to shout out that they are capable of something)
(astrology config- 1st, 7th, 8th or 12th house with sun, moon, ve, mar,me, neptune, ketu interplay)

Room 7
Fetishes - all kind of fetishes you can think of, including human waste....(Individual could be yearning for the power to take control or take charge of a situation, ability to stomach risks and how worst things can be and able to come out of it, fearless, extremist, and in illusions without a true sense of belonging anywhere)
(astrology config-6th, 12th, 8th, 4th house with mars, saturn, ketu, neptune interplay)

(okay...i can't continue much on the rooms already although there are a lot of classifications out there...am exhausted thinking...)

Active signs where the houses reside is also important as how the individual will express this side of them, example if Gemini side is active, the individual is capable of handling many partners at the same time (Orgy room 3), or Capricorn, the individual will most likely prefer bondage or one to one depending on what other planets are interplaying, or Scorpio where the individual will try everything and find the most intense of sexual acts that can satisfy them, Pisces will most likely prefer role play and fantasies, unconventional type or sensual touches, Leo will most likely prefer one to one or being dominant or get dominant by someone else and slavery, etc.

Where ever you are at, cultural background can also contribute to how society looks at sexual addicts. It is better to be a sexual addict at a more liberal country rather than example, at here Malaysia where religion zealous people or government will try their hands at rehabilitation to you where they do not have any information or expertise or understanding of, or even politicizing on the issue as well (like how they try to rehab the lgbt community).  You have been fed spiritual values that are contradicting to your moral values and thus have spiritual warfare within yourself, when all you have is an addiction that you need to understand and how to take control of it with the help of professionals if this addiction is out of control and make your life difficult.

Of course am not encouraging you to be a sexual addict, but from my works, this addiction is real, and I do foresee in the next few years, more people will get into this addiction (it is already happening now and escort services are feeding the fetishes of stressful people for the money they can profit from) people need an outlet to confide, to get help, and with life here which is getting more stressful, less connection with real people (on the internet hiding behind chat rooms all the time without real communication) , all these add up and can spin you to this addiction faster than ever before. It's very addictive and if everyone is judging and try to be a saint when they don't understand this addiction,  it will be more difficult to handle when it happens to you or your closed ones.

Anyway, I opined,  the best way to this addiction is first, admitting that you have a problem, try abstinence and work things out with someone you trust and never be harsh on yourself. It is just like a disease, where you need time to heal, time to get well and a plan to get well.

Sexual Addiction and how it look like in the head? Intro post 1

This is going to be explicit and rated SX-18 by people who are not open minded...But it is not with the intention of making this a porny horny post. It's just a sharing on one of the small "research" I've been doing for some years, from the perspective and lens of astrology, energy and spirituality based on consultations I've accumulated in some years . And it's all going to be about sex. I might spread it to a few part if I can't finish and I'll try to minimize on astrology jargon and attempt this writing on a laymen terms.

Sexual addiction:
From wikipedia: "Sexual addiction (sometimes called sex addiction) is a popular model to explain hypersexuality—sexual urges, behaviors, or thoughts that appear extreme in frequency or feel out of one's control. Hypersexuality is typically associated with lowered sexual inhibitions. Alcohol and some drugs can affect a person's social and sexual inhibitions.

There are differences of opinion among sexologists, sociologists, psychologists and other specialists as to whether the phenomenon represents an actual addiction or even a psychological/psychiatric condition at all. Proponents of the sexual addiction model draw an analogy between hypersexuality and substance addiction or behavioral problems like gambling addiction, recommending 12-step and other addiction-based methods of treatment. Other explanatory models of hypersexuality include sexual compulsivity and sexual impulsivity.

Sexologists have not reached any consensus regarding whether sexual addiction exists or, if it does, how to describe the phenomenon. Some experts believe that sexual addiction is literally an addiction, directly analogous to alcohol and drug addictions. Other experts believe that sexual addiction is actually a form of obsessive compulsive disorder and refer to it as sexual compulsivity. Still other experts believe that sex addiction is itself a myth, a by-product of cultural and other influences. Some who have expressed doubts about the existence of sex addiction argue that the condition is instead a way of projecting social stigma onto patients."

We have heard of many type of addictions, but sexual addiction? It's kinda rare don't you think? This is because it is a taboo topic and rarely discussed. It is a stigma and professional help in the form of counseling is quite limited because the sufferer will be shy at most  to confide for professional help. The sufferer also do not deem it as a dis-ease or an inconvenience until it really inconvenience every aspect of life. Example, insatiable desire to engage in sexual encounters or relationships even thou you have or do not have one. Or, when you suddenly feel like stopping your ways , you become emotionless and sexless.

Frequent syndrome of sexual addiction: (from other source)

• Frequently engaging in more sex and with more partners than intended.
• Being preoccupied with or persistently craving sex; wanting to cut down and unsuccessfully attempting to limit sexual activity.
• Thinking of sex to the detriment of other activities or continually engaging in excessive sexual practices despite a desire to stop.
• Spending considerable time in activities related to sex, such as cruising for partners or spending hours online visiting pornographic Web sites.
• Neglecting obligations such as work, school or family in pursuit of sex.
• Continually engaging in the sexual behavior despite negative consequences, such as broken relationships or potential health risks.
• Escalating scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve the desired effect, such as more frequent visits to prostitutes or more sex partners.
• Feeling irritable when unable to engage in the desired behavior.

You may have a sex addiction problem if you identify with three or more of the above criteria. More generally, sex addicts tend to organize their world around sex in the same way that cocaine addicts organize theirs around cocaine. Their goal in interacting with people and in social situations is obtaining sexual pleasure.

The severity of your addiction depends on the type, amount and frequency of the sexual behavior, and its harmful effects. Symptoms that a therapist will evaluate to determine severity include:

• Increasing guilt, remorse and suicidal thoughts
• Irritability when unable to engage in the desired behavior
• Pronounced mood swings or violence
• Heated arguments with loved ones about sexual behavior
• Severe financial problems
• Job loss
• Increased substance abuse or dependency
• Tolerance (escalating frequency of sexual behavior; engaging in more sex than intended — need for more sexual activity to achieve the desired effect)
• Preoccupation with or persistent craving for sex
• Unsuccessful attempts to limit sexual activity
• Continued involvement in excessive sexual practices despite desire to stop
• Time devoted to sex-related activities
• Engagement in sex to the detriment of valued activities and obligations such as work, school and family
• Continuation of the sexual behavior despite negative consequences 

Astrology and Sexuality [2]

A continuous and long term research on this. I've now a database of about 150 charts of female genders. If someone can get me across to do readings for male and trans, please do so. A little bit on the traits and trends I always discover in a natal chart of a homosexual female. [BTW, I won't be putting up the images yet as it is distracting to my train of thoughts]

1) Native usually have Rahu / Ketu on 1st house, or 5th or 7th, or 8th
Ra/Ke in 1st house - nodal case = Extreme events, lifestyle, secretive self, or emotional extreme. [this might explain, the need for homosexuals to lead a double life, not coming out to people or society, emotional issues, extreme emotional issues, suppressing their feelings for the sake of secrecy, and the oddity [odd one out/foreign] from their closest family and friends.

Ra in 7th house gives prediction of unusual intimate partner, foreign partner, or a partnership out of the normal standard of society. Ke in 7th house will explain the spiritual connection or 'soul mate' feeling of finding someone of the same sexual orientation, the difficulty or easiness of the experience with the partner, the maintenance of the relationship and also explain why most homosexual relationships are not long term with ever changing partner to partner, or in short 'recycled' among the closed group community.

Ra in 8th house [in terms of sexual satisfaction] give predictions of foreign sex partner, weird sexual partner or weird sexual appetite.

As astrology is an ancient authority, we have to see it in the eye of the great sages before this. If most of the knowledge compile is meant for humankind with the main "Man for Woman and vice versa" principles, then using it to predict current times people will need a more neutral or opposite thinking mindset. As example : if in a male chart, Ra in 8th denotes foreign sex partner, then in ancient time, it could mean that particular native can only get satisfaction in sexual gratification from someone not of the same locality, background or from a place that's not of his locality.

2) Native usually have planets that is stronger for their gender. Example : Female usually have Sun , Mars, Saturn, Mercury strong in their 1st house, and some in Retrograde while Male usually have Moon, Venus, Neptune strong in 1st or 12th.

3) Native usually have same gender planet in 5th, 7th, 8th or 12th. Example : Female that have Venus , Moon, in these houses give predictions of same gender partner while Male that have Sun, Mars, Mercury and Uranus (retrograde more significant) in these houses will have a higher probability to involve in same sex partner.
If at times there is a combination of female and male planets in this houses, it gives to a bisexual tendencies.

4) Beside these basic analysis on the basic chart , you have to map it up against the signs and the constellations. and also the timing of when someone will come to these experiences in their personal life if they choose to fulfill this desire or have this experience.

As a responsible astrologer, beside using this few basic technique to suspect a chart native of his sexual orientation, you have to have more supporting configuration in the signs, aspects, recurring story and keyword, confirmation from the 27 constellation and dasha too. Suggestion : more than 5 relation or related story from the chart can affirm the analysis.  

WHY this sexuality analysis from astrology is important or beneficial to the community or humankind, you might ask?

On a personal level
Astrology can denote and give a confirmation on whether being with someone you really love whether same gender or as normal (man-woman) will be happier for you. In some cases, there are native who if involve with marriage to the opposite sex will have unhappiness and get into the divorce rate as statistic , while with partner of the same sex, can find long term happiness and companionship who will have a better life and be taken care of for the longest time possible.

You can know if you should or should not come out to your parents or family, depending upon the religious upbringing and social background of your country and if you can't come out, how can you handle your psychological, mental and emotional well being.

You can know the best way to adjust to your health and implications and how you will need different care on the medical level. Even transgendered natives will have aspects or configurations of surgery for sexual changes in their chart, so knowing when to go under the knife for favorable results, will opting for this life time sex changes a decision you can go through with no regrets and how will your overall general health being be.

On a higher level

Since astrology is an ancient module and till now it is timeless, it is of course right to say that homosexuality have appeared since ages ago ( religious scriptures have also touch on homosexuality.)

Homosexuality is also one of HIS creation and it is a nature condition. It is only the nurturing, the different upbringing, the psychological suppression and environment that can affect fear or desire of acknowledging this emotion. Coupled with free will to whether honour or accept yourself as you are, then it come down to your own choice to whether love secretly, or love universally. Eg: scientific research have confirm everyone is androgynous and in astrology, even the toughest male do have feminine traits, despite expressing it out from a different channel or experience or events.
The long term psychological condition and upbringing creates different choice and path, and in extreme cases, homophobia and intolerance to other people different from their own choices.

The world is perceived as Yin and Yang, but with many other dimensions. Homosexuality / LGBT natives stand between the Yin and Yang line, with one foot either at the yin or yang line, or in easier word, between hell and heaven. This explains the emotional distress and imbalanced, the feelings of right and wrong in the eye of religious views, the relation to God and other such religious fears.

But so to speak, we have known unconsciously or consciously that, homosexuality will not disappear as long as there is humankind and civilization, as this is also an essential lessons in life for other majority to practice understanding, tolerance, acceptance, religious path and universal love. In terms of religious cultivations, there is no cultivation , merits accumulated or you are more favored in the eye of God if you condemn homosexuality , a fellow humankind, while u show kindness to even a small ant.

This is because, sexual orientation is only a tiny aspect of a person. Taking out this aspect, homosexuals are highly normal human being with feelings, emotions, giving taxes, performing filial duty , social responsibilities, charities, movers and shakers in their communities and what not.  Their own relation with their own God or religious practice is confine to theirs, and them alone. Time have changed. When we advocate change, it's only for the better and not for the worst. While in ancient time, homosexuality is being suppressed and is in view as lewd, dirty, stopping the generation of human, condemn by God and such, now it is about universal love, oneness and unity in diversity, human rights, kindness, gratitude and unconditional love.

The Earth is moving faster on its axis and this in a way open up more awareness and consciousness. The energies do not recognize genders. So please practice a broader mind especially if you are an astrologer trapped in traditional mindset when delineating a soul life chart.