Sexual Addiction - What's in the mind so you know how to heal it - Part 2

While attempting to write this post the whole day, my mind was filled with sex. Oh gee...not like it's what you are thinking. Anyway, the info here might not be in it's totality and, based on what is channeled best and written is another story.

Sex addiction, is an addiction of pure lust and physical and these individuals often have huge commitment problems, and fear of becoming close to someone. A real sex addict, does not really enjoy sex, and instead it causes a chain reaction of shame, guilt, fear, depression and suicidal thoughts.

Most times, when a sex addict is married, they will not get off by having normal sex with their spouse, let alone, a sex addict is incapable of feeling true love, and therefore usually in most cases, relationships do not work out. A sex addict can however, learn how to become a decent person, and learn how to feel if they are thorough and honest with their recovery. Support from their loved ones will be of utmost importance and tolerance for a successful recovery as well.

There are many types of sexual addiction and different classifications, such as porn addiction and in most cases, there are added paraphernalia, which are abnormal and most time dangerous fetishes in which one cannot get off by anything else. It can also be accompanied by abuse of drug or substances and alcohol abuse.

There are also sex addiction that stems from trauma, such as sexual abuse in one's past. Some people develop sex addiction from learned behaviors of abuse, or even very traumatic incidences in childhood. This type can also become very dangerous, given the fact that there are many sex addicts who resort to get off by violence and hurting people, and are trapped in that habit, and equally, they may disassociate and constantly hurt themselves.

On another side, it is also entwined with personality disorders and chemical brain imbalances, where this mental disease is rare, but can begins at birth or early childhood. Causes are unknown, thus it is classified as a mental disease, and chemical brain imbalance. It can also result from other mental illnesses. Please note that addictions do not choose what or who you are, you can be a professional in some high flying job, or you can be plain Jane. Everyone is human and every human have an addiction of some sort.

There are many differing opinions on the religious side of sexual addiction, or in fact any other addictions as it is categorized as the same. However, I am really wondering about on the spirituality and energy side. This is because sex itself should be a pleasure between couples in relationships and individuals, and it is an art in Kamasutra and Tantric sex,and it is also tied with creativity and awakening of the Kundalini in energy modules.

On the spiritual side, all sex addicts have a powerful physical and spiritual healing ability to some extent. They are so captivated with the sexual and physical aspect that they then become intent on abusing such power. If learned properly, a sex addict can be a very powerful healer.

Most sex addicts are highly insecure or not confident. However, they appear highly charismatic, sociable, and have the ability to entice and seduce many people with their strong auras. Their partners will also become addicted to them. On another side, some are also extremely egoistic, self seeking, and like to be in the spot light. They tend to enjoy bragging about their problems.

Sex addiction has many symptoms, such as frequent injuries due to sexual behaviours, depression, anxiety and many other mental illnesses entwined with it, the famous feeling of guilt and shame, suicidal thoughts, black outs, anger problems and other emotional problems. When deprived of sex, a sex addict will act out dangerously.

On another side of this where I opined, I would also say that human, once have abundance of something, will not take it as a surprise anymore as they get "their devil side fed", and thus as a form of release, able to accept themselves and steer back to normality in real. Release it as it comes, feed the devil side and let it subside, and then re-enforce light when the mind is centered again and increase the light side against the dark side. Healing might be easier in this way. But the addict should also be able to help in ways of abstinence or taking back the control and power over their own dark side. Just like a simple example, if everyone can afford a luxury here, say Iphone, then Iphone is not something of a luxury anymore where you will have to sell a kidney for an Iphone (a girl in China doing so). It has become normal and when the desire of acquiring it is not strong, it can be under control. It is hard to satisfy a million desires, so why not try harder to control one desire that leads to the million desires. The effort put into controlling that one desire and able to come out of it is worth it.

So if we are to understand what sort of game or sex act or fetish that sex addicts are looking for and if it is a cry for something higher beneath their soul yearning, what could it be? Why do they do what they do in an addictive continuous manner? Imagine if we are a sex addict, and we are to walk into a big clubhouse with the only intention of getting sex, no inhibitions, no one judging or disrespecting you at all . And in these rooms, all kind of games are in play, which room would you knock on?

Room 1
Slave/Submissive sex - where you listen to your Master and do what they ask you to do. (Individual could be a powerful person in real life who have been giving orders to other people, and thus would choose this room for a change)
(astrology config- 6th or 12th house with saturn, rahu, ketu, mars, moon, pluto interplay) 

Room 2
Bondage/S&M - where you got tied up, whips and chains are your best friend and pain is pleasure (Individual could be yearning for a higher power that can release him/her from one controlling power for freedom, or instead of taking control all the time, someone to take control of him/her in real)
(astrology config-7th house with mars, ketu, saturn, venus, neptune interplay)

Room 3
Groupies/Orgy - group participants or several people playing together (Individual could be yearning for connections, reaching out, or is learning about sharing and no shame issue or is someone who have no trust issue, loves loosely, free spirit)
(astrology config - 7th or 8th house with mars, venus, jupiter, me, rahu, pluto interplay)

Room 4
Porn Stars/Videos/Internet - continuously engaging in watching videos, schedules revolved around picking ppl from the internet, chatting, watching video (Individual could be very lonely, not able to socialize, and yearning for companions or relationships without strings attached)
(astrology config-2nd or 3rd house with me,mars,ve, rahu interplay)

Room 5
Erotic massages/touch/senses - the need to be constantly touched by people (Individual could be yearning for higher source that can stimulate their senses, gives them inspirations, the need to feel true love instead of artificial love and yearning for real feeling instead of illusions)
(astrology config-1st, 7th, 8th house with ve, sun, saturn, rahu, moon interplay)

Room 6
Exhibitionist/Showing/Audience - the need to expose an intimate personal part of oneself to others (Individual could be yearning for attention and the need for others to appreciate them, take notice of them or need to shout out that they are capable of something)
(astrology config- 1st, 7th, 8th or 12th house with sun, moon, ve, mar,me, neptune, ketu interplay)

Room 7
Fetishes - all kind of fetishes you can think of, including human waste....(Individual could be yearning for the power to take control or take charge of a situation, ability to stomach risks and how worst things can be and able to come out of it, fearless, extremist, and in illusions without a true sense of belonging anywhere)
(astrology config-6th, 12th, 8th, 4th house with mars, saturn, ketu, neptune interplay)

(okay...i can't continue much on the rooms already although there are a lot of classifications out there...am exhausted thinking...)

Active signs where the houses reside is also important as how the individual will express this side of them, example if Gemini side is active, the individual is capable of handling many partners at the same time (Orgy room 3), or Capricorn, the individual will most likely prefer bondage or one to one depending on what other planets are interplaying, or Scorpio where the individual will try everything and find the most intense of sexual acts that can satisfy them, Pisces will most likely prefer role play and fantasies, unconventional type or sensual touches, Leo will most likely prefer one to one or being dominant or get dominant by someone else and slavery, etc.

Where ever you are at, cultural background can also contribute to how society looks at sexual addicts. It is better to be a sexual addict at a more liberal country rather than example, at here Malaysia where religion zealous people or government will try their hands at rehabilitation to you where they do not have any information or expertise or understanding of, or even politicizing on the issue as well (like how they try to rehab the lgbt community).  You have been fed spiritual values that are contradicting to your moral values and thus have spiritual warfare within yourself, when all you have is an addiction that you need to understand and how to take control of it with the help of professionals if this addiction is out of control and make your life difficult.

Of course am not encouraging you to be a sexual addict, but from my works, this addiction is real, and I do foresee in the next few years, more people will get into this addiction (it is already happening now and escort services are feeding the fetishes of stressful people for the money they can profit from) people need an outlet to confide, to get help, and with life here which is getting more stressful, less connection with real people (on the internet hiding behind chat rooms all the time without real communication) , all these add up and can spin you to this addiction faster than ever before. It's very addictive and if everyone is judging and try to be a saint when they don't understand this addiction,  it will be more difficult to handle when it happens to you or your closed ones.

Anyway, I opined,  the best way to this addiction is first, admitting that you have a problem, try abstinence and work things out with someone you trust and never be harsh on yourself. It is just like a disease, where you need time to heal, time to get well and a plan to get well.

Sexual Addiction and how it look like in the head? Intro post 1

This is going to be explicit and rated SX-18 by people who are not open minded...But it is not with the intention of making this a porny horny post. It's just a sharing on one of the small "research" I've been doing for some years, from the perspective and lens of astrology, energy and spirituality based on consultations I've accumulated in some years . And it's all going to be about sex. I might spread it to a few part if I can't finish and I'll try to minimize on astrology jargon and attempt this writing on a laymen terms.

Sexual addiction:
From wikipedia: "Sexual addiction (sometimes called sex addiction) is a popular model to explain hypersexuality—sexual urges, behaviors, or thoughts that appear extreme in frequency or feel out of one's control. Hypersexuality is typically associated with lowered sexual inhibitions. Alcohol and some drugs can affect a person's social and sexual inhibitions.

There are differences of opinion among sexologists, sociologists, psychologists and other specialists as to whether the phenomenon represents an actual addiction or even a psychological/psychiatric condition at all. Proponents of the sexual addiction model draw an analogy between hypersexuality and substance addiction or behavioral problems like gambling addiction, recommending 12-step and other addiction-based methods of treatment. Other explanatory models of hypersexuality include sexual compulsivity and sexual impulsivity.

Sexologists have not reached any consensus regarding whether sexual addiction exists or, if it does, how to describe the phenomenon. Some experts believe that sexual addiction is literally an addiction, directly analogous to alcohol and drug addictions. Other experts believe that sexual addiction is actually a form of obsessive compulsive disorder and refer to it as sexual compulsivity. Still other experts believe that sex addiction is itself a myth, a by-product of cultural and other influences. Some who have expressed doubts about the existence of sex addiction argue that the condition is instead a way of projecting social stigma onto patients."

We have heard of many type of addictions, but sexual addiction? It's kinda rare don't you think? This is because it is a taboo topic and rarely discussed. It is a stigma and professional help in the form of counseling is quite limited because the sufferer will be shy at most  to confide for professional help. The sufferer also do not deem it as a dis-ease or an inconvenience until it really inconvenience every aspect of life. Example, insatiable desire to engage in sexual encounters or relationships even thou you have or do not have one. Or, when you suddenly feel like stopping your ways , you become emotionless and sexless.

Frequent syndrome of sexual addiction: (from other source)

• Frequently engaging in more sex and with more partners than intended.
• Being preoccupied with or persistently craving sex; wanting to cut down and unsuccessfully attempting to limit sexual activity.
• Thinking of sex to the detriment of other activities or continually engaging in excessive sexual practices despite a desire to stop.
• Spending considerable time in activities related to sex, such as cruising for partners or spending hours online visiting pornographic Web sites.
• Neglecting obligations such as work, school or family in pursuit of sex.
• Continually engaging in the sexual behavior despite negative consequences, such as broken relationships or potential health risks.
• Escalating scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve the desired effect, such as more frequent visits to prostitutes or more sex partners.
• Feeling irritable when unable to engage in the desired behavior.

You may have a sex addiction problem if you identify with three or more of the above criteria. More generally, sex addicts tend to organize their world around sex in the same way that cocaine addicts organize theirs around cocaine. Their goal in interacting with people and in social situations is obtaining sexual pleasure.

The severity of your addiction depends on the type, amount and frequency of the sexual behavior, and its harmful effects. Symptoms that a therapist will evaluate to determine severity include:

• Increasing guilt, remorse and suicidal thoughts
• Irritability when unable to engage in the desired behavior
• Pronounced mood swings or violence
• Heated arguments with loved ones about sexual behavior
• Severe financial problems
• Job loss
• Increased substance abuse or dependency
• Tolerance (escalating frequency of sexual behavior; engaging in more sex than intended — need for more sexual activity to achieve the desired effect)
• Preoccupation with or persistent craving for sex
• Unsuccessful attempts to limit sexual activity
• Continued involvement in excessive sexual practices despite desire to stop
• Time devoted to sex-related activities
• Engagement in sex to the detriment of valued activities and obligations such as work, school and family
• Continuation of the sexual behavior despite negative consequences 

Confession of a Perfectionist

Itsy bitsy teenie weenie dots, blackie darkish purplish yellowish stains, argh...dirty, slimey, smelly, bluey spots...warrrgh! Narh...am not perfect am not, am just a perfectionist. Who want to perfect the art of perfection, precision and accuracy, beauty and neatness, dang!!! If all these fails, am tearing and toring all down, build and rebuild, write and rewrite and go to the extreme of pulling everything down. Crumble, here you go! Arh...rebuild and rewrite with perfection. Not a single dot. But hey...what's this??!! A DOT!! nooo...biaatch..u stick, don't u? I  need that Jip! Hand sanitizer is my best friend. Binoculars are my next. What bout magnifying glass? Dude that's so old school.

Perfect is not a destination, it's just an obsession. An obsession that either makes you so good at what you are doing, or make it worst that you can't move on and down with tiny details that does not matter. But what happens when your LIFE itself, you think it's not perfect? Live on, throw your obsession out. It's not meant to be perfect, it's only the state of mind. It's that easily said but hard to do when you are obsessed with how dirty it is.

The Universe will provide........!! There are always reasons something happen and it's all for the good...! Tell that to a perfectionist and they will look at you sideway and start doubting. What the fish you just said?? It's suppose to be like this and this and this u know? Geee...give up. Roll on your bed and send them white flowers. They love white. Without the torns. The dirt. And it's neutral. You know...those things? *scratch my skin, it's not this colur*

Oh man...chill. Your Virgo child sucks. 

Emotional cleansing in general

What is emotional cleansing? Many energy healers might lump sum this as an understanding of clearing out any negative emotions that does not serve the highest good or purpose of our true self. Many would also bring together a whole lump sum of emotional tools to clearly bath away a client or their own emotional cleansing routine. However, how many of these are really effective? The most effective would probably be a temporary relief, where you bath in splendid colours, you clear the auras, you clear this and that and bring in the light. But it is only temporary measurement. How many would have slipped back to the same emotional state after some time?

In order to clearly clear out these negative energies, you have to clear from the root cause. What are the meanings of these emotions that you have put or intended them to be? Example, happiness to person A is not the same as it is to B. So what are the meanings? You will have to find out. It's just the beginning of finding out the root cause and the belief systems of a person. How does these emotions come in? Where do they come from? Why do they keep coming back?

If you are you whom is created from a blue print of the Higher Source, clearly these emotions are also given to you to protect you, no matter in our dualism world, what you term as positive or negative, however positive or negative it is, it is clearly a part of you. Why do they keep coming back no matter how you try to control or suppress it?

You will need to understand what is a conditioned feeling and what is a true feeling. A conditioned feeling is shaped out of environment, experience and the reality that you are in. A true feeling is what usually without suppression, calculated move or something felt from your Higher Self. Example, from childhood time, you might go through a very difficult time in expressing yourself. It could stem from past life traumas carry on here and you try to suppress it , which means keep it buried deep down and the only way for you to seal this feeling off is to keep yourself from talking. You might stammer or you might have speech block, in order to keep yourself safe from the pressure of expressing yourself, using this method to seal things off. 

In the long run, when you have learned so well to seal the feelings off, these become a conditioned feeling and not your true feeling. You learned how to build a protective wall, a mask, a shield, a block, or a mental block or whatever it is that no one knows, deep down. And when along the way, you got triggered by some situations, interactions or relationships, and in these situations or environment you draw the meaning of the conditions to the deep down buried feelings that you have sealed off, you fell back to where you came from. Example depression. The pattern keep repeating, when you fell, the most convenient way is to replace it with say depression/unhappiness/suicidal thoughts etc. Which is because you have kept it conveniently deep down for you to draw on, that it keep you safe in the escape route, that it had become natural.

Same goes with situation/environment, you fell back to the same situation/concept of an event in a different form, yet you conveniently draw back the meaning to it and you goes back to feeling the same thing over and over again. Hence that is what I would say, "you never learn".  These conditions can stem from a lifetime of belief systems input to you by anyone and everyone in your life. You asked for the answers, they gave you, you believe it to be the only way, you put it in your chest, and then you draw it out when you face the same thing, and next thing you know, that's the only way you associate those negative emotions with whenever you face the same situation again. You are trapped in the same pattern over and over.

Hence that is why, when we do energy works, it's not a one time two time thing that once you did, it gets better. It is a series of consultations, assessments, sussing, and finding out the root cause, replace belief systems with newer energies, change meaning and associations,keep drawing buried emotions and replace it with a set of new emotions/energies, and whenever these steps of healing are done, you or the client will have all sort of emotions coming to the surface and experience them again until they fade away. You will have to acknowledge these feelings exist, it's time to let them go and seal them off again. They can make a comeback, depending how strong willed are you to change the association, but at most through energy works, it helps to draw them out faster and release it back to the universe. You may cry, you may feel depressed again and again, you may release it in the form of anger, or even, be releasing it in the form of sexual energy etc, but it will get lesser and lesser and that is a form of cleansing and removal.

Cutting cords, links, hooks, ties, bonds and connections from past events, people, relationships and feelings are of utmost important. And when the healer have done the healing, it is also important to severe the energetic karmic link between the healer and the client. It's a series of these, cleansing, repairing the auric field etc, and the most important person is the one being heal. The mental state of the client have to be aligned with what you are doing and is willing to change and put in the positive thoughts. Thus mutual understanding is very important here.

Each individual needs will be different and the level of healing they require is also different. Of course the intelligent energy and the Masters will be able to correct and oversee the process and give the healing for their highest good at the ethereal level. However, if you can understand and check where these causes are, you will be able to intent more precisely and have faster result in terms of being able to educate your client and give them the info they need so that they can work on it together with you. 

So what good is emotional cleansing? The most important thing an emotional cleansing can give you is to move on from bad experience or traumatic issue. It gathers back a part of your spirit that is attached to that emotion/situation/environment etc and recollect back a part of your soul to your Higher Self so that you will be wholesome again. An emotional cleansing can also help you to close a chapter of your life that is no longer doing you any good by replaying the emotions inside you over and over again and make your life redundant. It helps tremendously in finding back yourself, loving yourself, forgive yourself and simply embrace love, joy and happiness again. You stop karmic links and unnecessary burdens. And lastly, your own perspective change and lessons learned.

Are you an astrologer or prophet of impeding dooms day ?

Most of the time, people only look for solutions or answers when they are in dire need in a problematic situation. whatever help or solutions that are offered will be grab without thinking much as long as it works. when in situations like this, if the fella did not stop to think twice whether it is worth it or not, he will make a wrong move that he will regret. the problem become a bigger problem. take example of a person , addicted to gambling . when in dire need, he will turn to the loan sharks for fast cash delivery/approval. he did not stop to think twice, because that solution is what feed his need, fast. this solution at the same time , give him temporary relief of material pain, but at the same time, plunge him into a deeper bigger mess. whoever are involved or is in his circle, will be affected or pull into a karmic event. so, putting it in simpler form, most of the time, people most probably will only think of looking for an astrologer when they are in a dire need. be it for love issue, financial issue, career issue etc. most of the time, people will just live their life as it is without an astrologer. or even after meeting an astrologer, they will forget about what had been said after the meeting. My question is why? how come like this? what is their perception towards an astrologer? some people dare not go to an astrologer because of fear . the fear of predictions coming true, prefering to take it as it comes or let nature runs her course. so this falls back to the astrologer. are astrologers nowadays using the scare tactics? are astrologers nowadays using psychology to manipulate a seeker's emotional intelligence? "tomorrow you are going to meet with an accident and you will be a gone case! prepare your funeral now! unless you get this special gem/amulet/ritual (read:spend more more more money) and this disaster can go away" okay...a little dramatic, but this is a very real situation happening and most of my clients has this perception and some, experienced for themselves. what is more blessed than having a module/system that can give you a foresight of what is going to happen in your life and offer you solutions based on your own chart? what is more divine than learning about yourself and finding out what is it that your soul need to learn before flying off to another plane? and what is more efficient having astrology as your sacred tool to find what you want, right what have been wrong and change what can be changed? so what are you afraid of? this then must falls back to the astrologer again. is the astrologer too enterprising? until whatever problems also can be settled by wearing ten gemstones on your ten fingers? has the astrologer been holding something back so that you will be more and more curious and would not mind forking out more to know the entire predictions without solutions yet? (solution will be another package of crystals/gemstones/poojas/rituals/fengshui/change name/clairvoyance/pyschic etc). This will kill this divine profession slowly and surely. if you have been practicing astrology and reaping the rewards/monetary benefits tremendously by being dishonest, you are no different than a leech, leeching on this doom soul. you will have no difference with a conman too. What goes around will come around. Astrology is a subject of truth. it never lies. only the one understanding it can have the tendency to manipulate truth for his/her selfish gain. Astrology is a tool for us to use for our own good. it can also be one of The Way to truth if we see it spiritually. if we are practitioner of truth, then we should not be dishonest. double it up with loving kindness, we actually can make astrology a better profession, especially vedic astrology since vedic astrology is more to predictive system. how? by not always being a dooms day astrologer. if you see negativity in the chart, use your position and trust given by the customer to guide the customer back to the right path. if your customer has to undergo the karmic event, teach your customer how to fulfill the condition and teach your customer to look on the positive side. teach them how to activate the positivity. if you have to recommend a gemstone, make sure it is something your customer agreed to, not being forced upon or duped into it. be an astrologer that brings good news to people, be an astrologer who has something nice to say even in the midst of ugly truth. positive back all your negative keywords. as it is, negative keywords are for your customers to know what will happen, what challenges they are going to face and ,what will be their karmic event coming. positive keywords are the solutions. try it! save our own profession. be an astrologer of good will and hope. if i have to hurt, i rather hurt with truth. let your customer walk out of that consultation room with renew faith, hope and courage to face their problem and top it up with workable solutions. You will start to enjoy and reap more satisfaction other than that worthless few hundred bucks you just made. it will even give you good fruits for your next life for helping and reconnecting your humanitarian touch. and best of all, you will save Astrology from misunderstandings and bad perceptions.