Sexual Addiction and how it look like in the head? Intro post 1

This is going to be explicit and rated SX-18 by people who are not open minded...But it is not with the intention of making this a porny horny post. It's just a sharing on one of the small "research" I've been doing for some years, from the perspective and lens of astrology, energy and spirituality based on consultations I've accumulated in some years . And it's all going to be about sex. I might spread it to a few part if I can't finish and I'll try to minimize on astrology jargon and attempt this writing on a laymen terms.

Sexual addiction:
From wikipedia: "Sexual addiction (sometimes called sex addiction) is a popular model to explain hypersexuality—sexual urges, behaviors, or thoughts that appear extreme in frequency or feel out of one's control. Hypersexuality is typically associated with lowered sexual inhibitions. Alcohol and some drugs can affect a person's social and sexual inhibitions.

There are differences of opinion among sexologists, sociologists, psychologists and other specialists as to whether the phenomenon represents an actual addiction or even a psychological/psychiatric condition at all. Proponents of the sexual addiction model draw an analogy between hypersexuality and substance addiction or behavioral problems like gambling addiction, recommending 12-step and other addiction-based methods of treatment. Other explanatory models of hypersexuality include sexual compulsivity and sexual impulsivity.

Sexologists have not reached any consensus regarding whether sexual addiction exists or, if it does, how to describe the phenomenon. Some experts believe that sexual addiction is literally an addiction, directly analogous to alcohol and drug addictions. Other experts believe that sexual addiction is actually a form of obsessive compulsive disorder and refer to it as sexual compulsivity. Still other experts believe that sex addiction is itself a myth, a by-product of cultural and other influences. Some who have expressed doubts about the existence of sex addiction argue that the condition is instead a way of projecting social stigma onto patients."

We have heard of many type of addictions, but sexual addiction? It's kinda rare don't you think? This is because it is a taboo topic and rarely discussed. It is a stigma and professional help in the form of counseling is quite limited because the sufferer will be shy at most  to confide for professional help. The sufferer also do not deem it as a dis-ease or an inconvenience until it really inconvenience every aspect of life. Example, insatiable desire to engage in sexual encounters or relationships even thou you have or do not have one. Or, when you suddenly feel like stopping your ways , you become emotionless and sexless.

Frequent syndrome of sexual addiction: (from other source)

• Frequently engaging in more sex and with more partners than intended.
• Being preoccupied with or persistently craving sex; wanting to cut down and unsuccessfully attempting to limit sexual activity.
• Thinking of sex to the detriment of other activities or continually engaging in excessive sexual practices despite a desire to stop.
• Spending considerable time in activities related to sex, such as cruising for partners or spending hours online visiting pornographic Web sites.
• Neglecting obligations such as work, school or family in pursuit of sex.
• Continually engaging in the sexual behavior despite negative consequences, such as broken relationships or potential health risks.
• Escalating scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve the desired effect, such as more frequent visits to prostitutes or more sex partners.
• Feeling irritable when unable to engage in the desired behavior.

You may have a sex addiction problem if you identify with three or more of the above criteria. More generally, sex addicts tend to organize their world around sex in the same way that cocaine addicts organize theirs around cocaine. Their goal in interacting with people and in social situations is obtaining sexual pleasure.

The severity of your addiction depends on the type, amount and frequency of the sexual behavior, and its harmful effects. Symptoms that a therapist will evaluate to determine severity include:

• Increasing guilt, remorse and suicidal thoughts
• Irritability when unable to engage in the desired behavior
• Pronounced mood swings or violence
• Heated arguments with loved ones about sexual behavior
• Severe financial problems
• Job loss
• Increased substance abuse or dependency
• Tolerance (escalating frequency of sexual behavior; engaging in more sex than intended — need for more sexual activity to achieve the desired effect)
• Preoccupation with or persistent craving for sex
• Unsuccessful attempts to limit sexual activity
• Continued involvement in excessive sexual practices despite desire to stop
• Time devoted to sex-related activities
• Engagement in sex to the detriment of valued activities and obligations such as work, school and family
• Continuation of the sexual behavior despite negative consequences 

Confession of a Perfectionist

Itsy bitsy teenie weenie dots, blackie darkish purplish yellowish stains, argh...dirty, slimey, smelly, bluey spots...warrrgh! Narh...am not perfect am not, am just a perfectionist. Who want to perfect the art of perfection, precision and accuracy, beauty and neatness, dang!!! If all these fails, am tearing and toring all down, build and rebuild, write and rewrite and go to the extreme of pulling everything down. Crumble, here you go! Arh...rebuild and rewrite with perfection. Not a single dot. But hey...what's this??!! A DOT!! nooo...biaatch..u stick, don't u? I  need that Jip! Hand sanitizer is my best friend. Binoculars are my next. What bout magnifying glass? Dude that's so old school.

Perfect is not a destination, it's just an obsession. An obsession that either makes you so good at what you are doing, or make it worst that you can't move on and down with tiny details that does not matter. But what happens when your LIFE itself, you think it's not perfect? Live on, throw your obsession out. It's not meant to be perfect, it's only the state of mind. It's that easily said but hard to do when you are obsessed with how dirty it is.

The Universe will provide........!! There are always reasons something happen and it's all for the good...! Tell that to a perfectionist and they will look at you sideway and start doubting. What the fish you just said?? It's suppose to be like this and this and this u know? Geee...give up. Roll on your bed and send them white flowers. They love white. Without the torns. The dirt. And it's neutral. You know...those things? *scratch my skin, it's not this colur*

Oh man...chill. Your Virgo child sucks. 

Angel Lucifer - The Light Bearer

 From Wikipedia:
"Traditionally, Lucifer is a name that in English generally refers to the Devil or Satan, especially in reference to his status as a fallen angel.
In Latin, from which the English word is derived, Lucifer (as a noun) means "light-bearer" (from the words lucem ferre). It was the name given to the Morning Star, i.e. the planet Venus when seen at dawn.
Use of the name "Lucifer" for the Devil stems from applying to the Devil what Isaiah 14:3–20 says of a king of Babylon whom it calls Helel (הֵילֵל, Shining One), a Hebrew word that refers to the Day Star or Morning Star.This association developed in Early Christianity, in the 2nd or 3rd century.
In 2 Peter 1:19 and elsewhere, the same Latin word lucifer is used to refer to the Morning Star, with no relation to the Devil. In Revelation 22:16, Jesus himself is called the Morning Star but not "Lucifer", even in Latin (Vulgata (stella splendida matutina)."

If it's true in relation, Morning Star, Lucifer, and Devil/Satan is the same, while Venus in astrology is the planet that gives humanity the ability to  love, wealth, materialism and all beauty in any forms and illusions of sexual instincts and pursuits. What in general means, if these are the things that you are looking for, and Venus is not debilitated, you will have all these in your life with ease. However, on the other side, spiritual astrology will tell you that this can be the downfall of your life and when it fell, you will be guided into spirituality. What a nuisance, to have one foot here at the materialistic world, and another at that spiritual world. Right? No? Tell me it's not and I'll tell you how from endless before time, this is the only struggle of humanity. A thin line between the duality of the world, good, bad, hell, heaven, opposite poles. Blah. It's that thin fine line before insanity and sane. Which reality are you in? Are you really at this world anyway?

Life after death. How do you know if you are actually just dead here at life and your real life is actually after death? Well, something to ponder on right? However, why do you want to keep yourself , always on check if you are goooood...or baddddd? Why do you want to keep yourself at the other poles when everyone right now is struggling to find the center point? Where loving a soul is better than loving the physical outlook empty shells only. Thus, these are what makes human suffer. The greed and craving to always choose the easy ways, the prestige, the wealth etc. The inability to enjoy true life and real meaning. The selfishness to self, family and surrounding people. Why do you want to grasp so hard? Create that space now.

And thus, the great fallen angel Lucifer, is actually not a fallen angel. He is just what you put into translation and transcription for people as a fable , a story to believe in , that He is the fallen angel. I say He is great because he took upon the task himself and play his role so well in giving humanity a choice. To choose. Between light and darkness. If there is no Lucifer to show you what is darkness and how ugly it is when the illusion is broken, do you think you will know what is light? No, you don't. And as the time goes by, when more and more people are able to recognize the light, there will be no more need for Lucifer to suffer as well. He will be in the light with everyone, but until this mission is accomplished, he is still taking care of his role so well from countless eons at the dark side. Until everyone is saved, He will be there to make you understand what is darkness.

To change your ways and to get a second chance before you are trapped in your own illusions. When it's all going nowhere and it's the end of your journey, without repents, your soul will be cleansed and it'll be a tremendous task because that's how deep and painful cleansing in Hell is. Do not thread onto His path, because it is total madness, just to show you it's not worth it. If all of us goes to the light, his task is accomplished and we should also be grateful to Him, the Morning Star that greet us when we found our enlightenment. May He get light and love too.  

Healing of the Inner Child

When we say or talk about Inner Child, is it really what we are truly referring to? The child within you? Is it just an illusion? Or is it just a convenient way to replace a psychological term? 

Inner Child to me is when your biological age and condition and environment does not get aligned with your True Self. You have been growing and growing and yet, you left a part of you died along the way. Not because that it is suppose to die, but you suppress it and not letting it grow together with you.

Hence when something happen, you fall back to your inner child but yet, your child do not know how or what to do in order to protect you. This is because you never let it grow up with you in the first place. However, it is also the most comforting and protective side as you fall to it because of the innocence and child like pure qualities that was what and who you are at the first place. No worries, no trust issues, no fear, until...you get all these from the materialistic world as you grow up.

How do you then, want to heal your inner child? Where do you search? What do you do? How do you check if there's anything that's not yet healed if there's any?

The Inner Child refers to your emotional body. Carl Jung called it the 'Divine Child'. Emmet Fox called it the 'Wonder Child'. Charles Whitfield called it the 'Child Within'. Some psychotherapists call it the 'True Self'. Our personalities emerge as a result of our genetic code, DNA, or inherited characteristics, and the environment in which we experience. Childhood is dictated by those who raise us and often causes scars that will take years to heal. For the most part, our issues go back to childhood and what impacted on our emotional and physical bodies at that time. The inner child remains with us all of our lives. We are all children at heart, innocently searching for our meaning in life.

Inner Child Types (a few variant)

The Playful Child
That self that is naturally playful, creative, spontaneous and fun loving child. This self longs to play. Many of us have forgotten how to do this without guilt or anxiety that as adults we must be doing something that is worthwhile.

The Spoiled Child
That part of us wants what they want and they want it now, and if they don't get what they want, they throw temper tantrums.

The Neglected Child
The child self that was always left alone without much nurturing and love. They don't believe they are lovable or worthwhile. They don't know how to love. They are depressed and want to cry.

The Abandoned Child
This child self has been left in some way like divorce or adoption or just left because the parents were kept busy working. They are always fearful that they will be abandoned again and again. This part of the self is starving for extra attention and reassurance that they are safe and okay. This self is very lonely.

The Fearful Child
This part has been overly criticized when they were small. Now they are anxious and are in panic much of the time. They need lots of encouragement and positive affirmations.

The Unbonded Child
This Inner Child never learns to be close to anyone. They are isolated. Intimacy feels alien and scary. Trust is a basic issue.

The Discounted Child
This is a part of the self that was ignored and treated as though they did not exist. They don't believe in themselves and need lots of love to assist and support them.

The Spiritual Child
This part of the self searches for answers from higher realms. 

The final result of healing the Inner Child - is balance within Oneself and being able to give and receive LOVE.

Why is healing of the inner child important? In a way, it frees you from bondages. You will have a safe space to fall, to throw tantrums, to let out your frustation, to get child like qualities without bondages from discrimination, prejudgments and  etc. You are free from fear, the fear of trying, you let your inner child guide you, to ask, and ask without fear. You can shout , you can beg like a child to get what you wanted in life without other kind of thoughts that pull you back down again. You get a new rebirth. Reborn. Again. 

You explore and see the world again, with a curiosity like a child. But you will have to heal it first so that it is aligned with your heart creation. Your desires. You have neglected it a long time, that you forgot how to ask like a child, how to be happy, you've forgotten true love, you have an absence and lack of love, and thus, you will need to feed your Inner Child with love again. Bring the gap closer, and tell yourself that. Let it come out and play. The stage is yours.
 

How to do it?

If you are not attuned with any healing energy modules, the works is less intense and it takes a longer time. But the most easiest will be doing some meditation, get down dirty with nature, bare your feet and walk on the beach, try something new and you never know you would do it, go traveling, explore all and everything possible that makes you happy. Challenge yourself to do the unthinkable. 

Whatever it is, try it without reservations. Revisit your childhood, forgive every stage, every year, every people, and move on. Let it all out, shout if you have to, let the negative energies out and transfer back to the universe. Example, throw all the clutters and stuffs you don't need, or go to the beach and throw rocks out to the sea with visualization of throwing out all the anger, disappointment etc transfered to the rock and shout it out. Let your inner child come out and play, as you heal it with love, it will get closer to you and guide you with much love and pure energies.