Tuesday, July 8, 2008

destiny, nature,universe...is...breathtaking.

" this is a post not meant for anyone. it's just a post which am pouring out to my heart content. it's pretty long with text. you will be bored if u read it."

this bloody few months i saw myself still have unwavering passion for astrology, for knowledge and such. but what the hell...where it leads to? skipping meals, dodging meet ups and spending most of the time in my own room thinking and thinking. what happened in these few months is unbelievable. more of like..fulfilling a certain destiny. what? teaching? no way...i have never done public speaking. but then...now am teaching. not much fun when u have to do it alone. but it's part of my chart. study ur own chart. master always say. scrutinize...where does this provision come from? healer? healing? and it unveiled rite b4 my eyes. talk to the nature , tell the universe and universe will respond. and yeah, it really did respond. or is it what i've attracted myself to? am so not sure anymore. if i don't respond to nature, it really did force and grab. but when i relented and let god, everything take care of itself.


a powerful combination of breakage, a few minor details and events, unfold and not noticed but realized after study of the chart. pluto taking away the unnecessary burdens to let me start anew. dasa period indicates cleansing. transits combinations cut off all links of negativity to fulfill the conditions. the key to the universe? the chart.

now there's a dream that came to me last 2 or 3 weeks ago am not sure. and it came 3 times, 2 days in a row, and a day break and then came again. (see...3,2,1). who da hell is that fella? i've no idea. he could be from the past or from the future or from another place. but he sure disturbed me alot. first dream, he was sitting at my car passenger's seat. smiling, he sure is indian cuz his skin is dark and can see his white beautiful teeth. i asked, who are u? why sitting in my car? do i know u? and he smiled, saying his name is dunno what but got rama there. so i'll just hmm....call him mr rama now. then he told me, he works in construction. and i asked which type? suddenly i felt i was so interested to know of his work or business. then he said, am soooo happy with my chart because the chart says am wealthy and many ppl will bow to me. then i said, oooh..issit ketu in 10th ? millionaire ah? and he said...u have learnt astrology with 123. but astrology is not just 123. it can be 321. and from 123 and 321 it can be infinite and a lot more. i woke up abruptly in my car. sweating and felt a deep ' sorrowful ' feeling in myself. and the first thing i utter...'damn...what a dream. this makes me need to study more loh. makes me more busy.' "stressed". could be am too stressed. so i can't sleep. i try to buy the numbers. 1239. 3219. 1230.3210.0123.0321.9123.9321.

damn. i didn't get the numbers, but they sure came out, last week 1230 and 9123, i think in toto and pmp.
but anyway... later in the day, i was quite obsessed with the 123 and 321. i study again. yes...there is something which i've missed, there's 123 and there's 321 in the charts. and at the same time, the janma rasi suddenly seems so nice to use together with the rasi. and i then find out more and more about the moon and expand my normal usage of it.

then , the next night... i dreamed again. this time, this fella also 'expanded'. he made me cycle to klang to find him.made me so tired. he was staying in a very nice 'palace' looking house. when i stepped in, it looks like bollywood to me. the house inside was kinda dim, the floor is wooden, the furnitures looks like damn damn damn old. and i swear his 'library' is made of something like a plank but have lots of books so i don't really know how it can stand the weight. and it is shiny shiny golden color. just when i wanted to pull out a book from it, i heard a voice. 'yes master' . uuitt? i saw a small hermit like man serving tea to him..that mr rama...just that this time i saw his whole body...so so so big and fat..i think his one thigh is my two thigh add together (still bigger) . i got scared. how come this fat fella can sit in my car that day. am sure my car seat will not be big enough. then i was laughing myself because i was ridiculing on his size in my car. and he ask me to come over. i went to him, he was in a room, when i stepped into the room...holy shit! okie...this is real palace. but i never seen a palace before but through books, i take it as palace.

the servant is still serving him, attending to him at his feet. and he asked...how is ur 123 study? i was...feeling...dejavu..this better be just a dream...am scared..are u harming me? "err...who are u? what issit with this 123?" he said, u sure are forgetful! his face and everything looks scornful. it is a look of despise and made me unworthy. i grew more afraid...what am i suppose to remember? astrology 123?? and he said...maybe this will make u remember back. and yes...he passed me a technique in reading the chart which i never see before. and i woke up at 3am, my maid shook me up because i was talking in sleep she said.

the next day, i tried to read my own chart with what he had taught. darn...what? wahahaha...i forgot. maybe it will come back again, latent inside the unconscious. but i don't know. i seriously forgot. the day passed, after my few attempts to remember back the 'lesson in dream'. i felt probably am really just dreaming. nothing to verify. the lesson that i learn in that dream, the technique to me is like...there's a big part of it which i've forgotten that is why i can't do anything conclusive with it. i really forgot. it's like, it came to me with just 1 and 3, there's 2 missing and the infinite part of it missing as well. so what da hell...i grew fed up. calls from my frens were ignored because i was too tired to answer. i was fed up too i went out without carrying my bag which i used to because i don't want to look at charts anymore.

after two days, this time i dreamed again. and it is by now , the last dream till today. in that dream, i recognized that mr rama voice again. this time i don't see him. but i was standing in darkness, with a lot of 'glowing charts' under my feet. i was like ...swearing at him this time saying, what's with all these? am tired!!! i don't want to read! and the more i got angry, the more the piles grow. i was going to be buried with those charts, i thought to myself. when it's almost waist high, he start talking and the voice seems like surrounding my ears. " read it like this! "came a chart glowing with a blinding light, or should i say , it feels more like flying to my face. i shield my face. then came a few more flying to me. and i shield again. "hey that's rude and crazy! come on...we can talk properly , don't throw at me!" and he said..."no... there's no time. u have to read these charts flying" and more and more charts kept flying over. i tried to move, but i can't. then, i saw one of the chart with a certain configuration that i am familiar with, and that certain configuration was in bold form. i suddenly 'register' and acknowledge that chart configuration. but before i can say anything, the voice said, yes that's it, you got it! the pile seems to reduced abit, and i continue to find those flying charts with bold text and graphics and when i mentally acknowledge it, the pile reduce again. this time, those flying charts changed color. damn...another level? it's like those video games!

read it like this..look behind there! look! look in front! look sideway! there's more to it! u can do it upside down too! see! remember this pillar? see this?! look deeper! did u see that?! remember! and i woke up...felt eerie and exhausted. but it gave me lots of things to ponder upon. lot of things. my brain is fucking exploding. integration. application. accessibility. reborn.

after the dream...the puzzle seems to surface more and more. a student who has a master teacher as a fren and biz partner, introduce me to reiki for healing. when he introduced her to me, he did it out of kind consideration too and mentioned...this is special, don't know what destiny has in store but come on, give it a try. i am really thankful to him. reiki, another ancient model for healing, the facts of it is astonishing. even the spirituality of it answer some of my questions. and as i walk on destiny, the events keep unfolded rite before me. i got initiated to it! bless is she that she do it out of a selfless and sharing self..imparting the knowledge for a better world. her generous way sees my own provision surfaced. messengers and the souls involved, when checked upon their charts with my own, we do have a certain past crossing. or in short, we do cross path in past life. but i don't know what... *shrug*. after the initiation, the master teacher said she thinks i've been doing this since past life. I was intrigued again... past life?? but i can't verify nor are we suppose to remember past life...for it's past. it's now that should be taken care of.

during the week, i also went to Maha Vihara temple for the metta meditation. sad to say..tonite am suppose to go too but i overslept. :P bad case of oversleeping. i will pledge to go next week!! they passed a cd to me, containing a big big big monster printer ink eater pdf format book . but u see, i like to touch and feel..so i go and print out everything. while flipping through it, there's a lot of graphics depicting the meditation postures and everything. sigh...dejavu feeling came again. it feels like i have done those postures. maybe like when i was young or in another life. thinking back, i had been doing manifestation type of meditation, just that when i was younger that time, i have no idea what it's called. now think back...maybe i can start documenting back and start all over again. or should i call it planning? or drafting of plans? or goal realization? or law of attraction? so many terms and names to it...aigh. which is which? i just know that when i was contemplating, and then start doing my goals and plans for my income that time, my daily income from the works was 500-800 a day. and i gambled it all away in less than 6 months. wahahahaha... regret but good experience for a young me. now am at the poverty line! (with inflation, the gov now says ppl with less than 2k income a month is poor) sigh...but ok... i pledge to take responsibility for all my doings and karma and pledge to reduce and right what is wrong in all my undertakings. to all those that i have crossed path, that i have hurt or have been hurt, to all those beings and souls from all directions that i have owe or have been owe, or i have offended or have been offended, and to those who are sufferings and not, to the sick, to the poor, to the wealthy, to everything and every soul and attachment that i have not acknowledge or have acknowledge but still in ignorance... i wish you well, happy and prosperous! may u be blessed with infinite blessings.

suddenly...it seems so... nice :) macam syok sendiri. but it feels better. while am still thinking bout how to market my new venture...thinking bout all aspects to it...out of the blue...came masters to help me out. out of the blue...came people wanting to plant the seeds with me...
today, i met with a certain master and gave me a very unique experience and a crucial lesson that i have been lacking. he was the essence of the 123 dream too. then at nite, my bro called to say...my mom's old friend who is an astrologer, dreamed of my mom...pulled out my chart to read and contact my bro to tell him she knows what am doing and going through. she drummed into him, no matter what, call me and ask me to contact her. she is willing to teach me to fulfill my mom wishes.

difficult period...hero friends come and offer help to me in whatever way it is. nature does not let me fall down to the lowest. probably need me to go tru it and find the lessons behind the lessons. what i've put to the universe...it sure is responding in her own unique way unfailingly. maybe i should not be too worried or stressed out after all. destiny will run its course and put everything in place...including my own jigsaw puzzle. charts reading are still flying around me...i've put to experiment again with a friend, tracking love and relationships using the only technique that i've got from the dream. still need to refine and research...probably that is why it never came to me as easy as 123.










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