It's now...or never

When I was in the younger days of my life, I am one of the very daring and mischievous type in my bunch of friends for all the wrong reasons. I am also very stubborn, holding on to my views and guarding them fiercely for all one reason...I don't feel right in what am forced to pursuit. Silent anger, one day when i was around 12 or 13 years old, I came to a feeling myself that Malaysian education system sucks. And i stopped studying everyday, except when it's exam time. Luckily i still fare quite well, however i know deep inside at that time of my age, those certs will do me nothing. I don't know what I wanted to be then, but I do know I don't need them.

fast forward to my early twenties where i moved out since 17 from home, i am still very different from what i am now. banging walls for numerous times, rises and falls many times, gone to being very broke as well , i started to realized something...am being put through to all those negatives experience in order to understand what is 'bad' and the antidote to all the negativity.

i then started to form another strong opinion, that ignorance is bliss. I do not read negative news, i don't want to know what is bad or evil, i don't want to judge anybody, I don't want to put in too much rubbish to my brain, that is when i start to indulge in religious studies. it was so true, while some are rather craps, but after a few more years, i found astrology. and i cooped myself 3 years out of reaches from friends and any entertainment just to keep myself 'pure' and untarnished. I really don't know much about lots of worldly stuffs, for I think it's pretty rubbish and I value my brain...where I can see simplicity in the most difficult situations.

i replaced anger with patience, ruthless ways to kind ways, negatives with positives and such in my pursuit to my goals. i realized going for something which is so dear with all sincerity and honest work is very self gratifying, integrity intact and have no regrets even if it don't work out as long as best efforts is put in.

i also realised that...the negatives need the positives , the light need the darkness, the evil and the good will exist and such. I choose to increase the quantity of the positives, the light and the good in this long run battle. We die anyway, so it's not a problem to work my ass off before that time come. I choose to be part of the major universe conscious that embrace basic universal humanity values. I choose to influence humanity in mass order to bring more light to the dark age now. I choose not to turn my back anymore...for working hands is better than praying lips.

I choose the choice, will have no regrets, will pursue my dreams in full force, no matter what happens. I wish to see more kindness in turbulent times like now, more loving hearts to everyone and all animals that need it, more compassion, less wars, more justice and all good values to restore the order of the world. It's because i am very sick of being silent while watching things going the wrong way. The negative energies drain my heart chakra! Are we one here? Will we be working together in this big ideal? Die with no regrets of what I should have done when I am able! am on now even if i feel alone or like a lone ranger.

I will start laying the foundations to my chosen mission. I honour and accept His mission.
Oh my God! Boat...wait! am jumping over! Voluntarily! Am one of the new light worker! Wait!!

World...here I come....