Saturday, May 15, 2010

give me more time for study!

am overwhelmed with studies. on top of dat am overwhelmed with works. if according to the ancient texts dat we can actually activate a certain nadi in our brain or system to unleash the subconsciousness of the knowledge record stored so that we will automatically know the subjects by hand...pls, i want to activate dat for all astrology in d world to be at the palm of my hand.

this process however, will take many many years of acquiring. means, we can activate our nadi but it takes years to perfect dat becuz of the human conditioning now. once we activate it, we can access the library at that other plane and get whatever knowledge direct from the source of the knowledge pool up there. but i know there's one 'easier' way, however it still takes some years. so i might as well spend my years studying the traditional way, with my head buried in the books, or if one day i can't take it, i'll boil all the books or burn it to d ground and eat it..(DAMN it).

literally i've been sleeping with books on my bed, under my bed and such, for i read b4 i sleep no matter how tired, so dat's why i sleep with them. (one good thing to this habit is i know i'll never go and sleep at somebody's place, or i will never sleep with anyone , for i just sleep with books... (hahaha...just kidding) now i can confirm dat sleeping with books under the pillow do not let u absorb them much. u just feel bad waking up later n knowing u didn't finish d pages. not to mention am one slowwww reader. it means, whatever i read, i likes to make notes on it. and when i at last check on it and can't apply anything, i throw away the notes that was painstakingly made in the first place. i can't stop comparing the books/notes on the same subject over and over with unlimited access. because, too many authors, too many thoughts, want to find out if it works. so i can't stop HOARDING on the notes, until when it's time, i need to clear my room of papers and throw them in the dustbin.

fussy note maker...i make them as from contents, 2nd round..i make them from the notes i just written for shorter version...and then, i read from shorter version and refer back to the longer version, and then i read back the book for the original version. and then, i transfer the notes to the big notebook, and then, i type them out to my pc, and then i redo again in a better way to read. and then, halfway in the process, i might throw the notes all away becuz of many reasons from unpractical theories, to i don't like my own writing, to i found a better nicer notebook.

how to progress like this? i still have about, sigh...i think at least about 10,000 pages of astrology stuffs i haven't finish. and my study rack of other books, ranging from many topics. Why do i even read in the first place? becuz after so many readings, it's just d same thing, nothing excite me, for it all boils down to the same thing. so am i a hoarder reader or a fussy reader? i guess am a hoarder.

now who on earth will pray for more time on earth so he can finish up all the books dat he haven't finish? i know of a guy dat do this, my mom did that, and i guess now i am gonna include this prayer into mine as well! (including activating dat part of the brain for all knowledge to absorb in like osmosis...actually i have osmosis learning since young, but not powerful enough after i got my bad car accident) :(

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